"Giving birth is an ecstatic jubilant adventure not available to males.

It is a woman's crowning creative experience of a lifetime." ~ Dr. John Stevenson



"The Road Less Traveled..." of Parenthood

Following your instincts instead of the crowd

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference."

Robert Frost

Friday, February 27, 2009

Talita's Birth Story (long version)


A Testament to the Wisdom of the Natural Birth Process
Talita Pearl was born September 11, 2008, at 3:29 p.m. 6 days after her "guess date." The labor and birth were not like anything I had visualized or expected, but were exactly what she needed to come into the world safely and healthily.I had visualized and even had several dreams where my labor was 2 hours or less and had a very easy, painless birth. In fact, I was nearly convinced the baby would come so fast that my midwife wouldn’t make it. (This was my 7th birth and previous labors without Hypnobabies practice were 4-6 hours long.) I was okay with that. I researched unassisted and emergency birth just in case. I have to admit, after having too many people around for Charles’ birth and the negative effect it had on my birthing time, unassisted birth had quite an appeal to me. I’ve always been extra sensitive about other people and their attitudes. I knew from experience it could have a significant effect on me, especially at such a vulnerable time. I found and read many stories of unassisted birth and was absolutely amazed at the sheer number of them. I had no idea so many women had the courage, faith, and knowledge to trust the birth process to go smoothly and safely. Their stories were so inspiring and appealing to me. I realized that many women throughout the world and most women throughout history had birthed this way. If childbirth really was so dangerous then the human species would have died out long ago. With that being said, I also knew that Heavenly Father would steer me away from an unassisted birth if it wasn’t going to be safe for me at this time or if it wouldn’t be safe for this particular baby. I was determined to let the Spirit guide me on the decision, all the while confidently hoping Scott and I could bring our sweet baby into the world in privacy, safety, and joy.One week before my "due" date whenever I would have regular Braxton-Hicks contractions, I started feeling fear–something I hadn’t felt throughout the entire pregnancy (thanks to daily listening to Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations). I couldn’t understand why I was now feeling fear. My main fear was that there would be cord problems and we wouldn’t be able to get the baby breathing when it was born. I did the Hypnobabies Fear Release script several times and even watched the slide show of my first homebirth (which was an ideal home water birth) to help me let go of these fears. They helped, but only temporarily. Still, I never felt fear about giving birth at home. I knew that the midwives could safely handle those problems if they came up.Anyway, on September 10, 5 days after my guess date, I awoke at 1:15 a.m. to warm fluid leaking out of me. As I hurried to the bathroom I kept saying to myself, "Please don’t be blood!" I was relieved to see clear fluid and just a tinge of pink that I figured was part of the mucous plug. My waters had broken! I "knew" I would give birth before my little boys woke up. I woke up Scott and together we filled up the birth pool which was set up in our bedroom. We put plastic down on the bed and covered it with a clean sheet. I wasn’t having any pressure waves to speak of, but I wanted to have some soft lighting on for when things did start happening, so we lit some candles and then went back to bed. Scott promptly went back to sleep, but of course, I couldn’t sleep. Parts of the mucous plug kept coming and amniotic fluid kept leaking in gushes. With each gush I would soak a whole pad. Finally I wrapped a thick towel between my legs and lay down in bed. I listened to BirthDay Affirmations with my iPod so as to let Scott sleep. Still no pressure waves.At first I was calm and happy. But then my old fear surfaced of "what if I can’t get the baby breathing on my own? Do I really want to give birth before Pam arrives?" After that I felt very unsure and fearful. I also kept wondering if I should try to get some rest since nothing was happening or if I should get up, walk around, and try to get labor going before the boys woke up. Finally I fell asleep and told myself to wake up at 5 and try to get labor started. I put on the Deepening script again and when it ended at 5 a.m. I knew I would automatically wake up (this often happened during the pregnancy). That would give me 2 hours–that should be enough time to give birth before my boys woke up. (So funny in hindsight.)As soon as the script ended at 5 I awoke with a start. I felt like I needed to have a huge bm. That, combined with the adrenaline of my "plan" made me jump out of bed and practically run to the bathroom. As I sat down, waves of nausea came over me at the same time a really strong pressure wave started. I started moaning and grabbed the trash can and put it between my legs just in case I threw up. I was terribly hot and sweaty so I ripped off my shirt and threw it on the floor. Our bathroom door is within reach of the toilet so I grabbed onto the door knob and held onto it for dear life. I was thinking, "Maybe I slept through early labor and this is transition!" I knew from experience and tons of birth stories that the pressure of the baby’s head on the rectum as the baby begins its descent into the birth canal can feel like you need to have a sudden bm. Suddenly I jerked upward and realized I had almost fallen off the toilet! I thought "what just happened?" I finished business and quickly lay back down in bed asking Scott to go get the throw-up bucket. I was breathing very hard and felt very hot. When Scott came back with the bucket he put his hand on my shoulder and did the Relax cue by simply saying, "Relax." My breathing immediately calmed down (Yay Hypnobabies!) and I told him what had just happened. It wasn’t until then I realized that I had almost passed out on the john!I went back to sleep for a couple of hours and at 7 a.m. felt like I should call Pam, my midwife. She got here about 8 and checked me. My blood pressure was good–only slightly elevated. She did a vaginal exam but couldn’t feel the cervix because the baby was still pretty high. (?) (+ 3 station) I thought it odd since I had carried the baby low all pregnancy and the baby had been engaged for nearly two weeks. She said not to worry, the sac can reseal itself and it could actually be days before I gave birth. She reminded me of the standard things to be careful of when the water breaks and then she went back home. I had to admit, it felt so good to be lovingly cared for by Pam (she has a great "bedside manner"). Even though unassisted birth still held a certain appeal for me, I decided at this point not to try for it. If it happened that way for some reason, I trusted that Heavenly Father would be guiding it to all work out. But when the spirit told me to call Pam, I would. I really felt at peace with this decision.Scott stayed home from work because we both thought it could happen at anytime. All day long I only had mild crampy sensations. I lay down often to rest and catch up on sleep. I put on Hypnobabies scripts whenever I would lay down and they helped me relax and get some sleep. I was surprised that it was all happening so slowly. But I was so grateful I wasn’t in the hospital strapped to a fetal monitor being starved "just in case" I needed anesthesia. (Tanner’s birth)Scott took all three boys to a movie in the afternoon, but I made him promise to leave his cell phone on (in silent mode) so I could call him if anything happened. I checked my email and noticed that my sister-in-law, Shirlene, had sent me a message wondering how I was doing and if the baby had come yet. It was fun to let her know my water had broken and that it could happen at anytime. (I love email.) I promised to let her know when it did. I got my email birth list all prepared so it would be really easy for Scott to let everyone know with just one email.I also tried to work through my fears about the labor, birth, and baby care. It was so surprising to me that for this whole pregnancy I’ve been so confident and fearless until August 29th. That’s when I had told myself it was okay to give birth and I started having serious Braxton-Hicks. In hindsight I think a lot of the fear stemmed from instinctively knowing I and the baby weren’t quite ready. I didn’t remember feeling this afraid with all of my other births. I really wondered why. I watched the slide show of Joshua’s birth, and I remembered that I had no fear that he wouldn’t start breathing. It never entered my mind. It was wonderful to be reminded of how good it feels to hold a brand new baby in your arms and watch him take his first breath and turn from gray/purple to a beautiful pink!Around 8:30 p.m. Scott gave me the most wonderful, beautiful blessing. Our good friend and neighbor, Jeff, came over to help. Before the blessing Jeff told us about his recent vacation to Hawaii. While we were talking I had two pressure waves. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply through them. Jeff noticed and Scott told him what was going on. Jeff said, "Yeah, but it can’t be that much fun." When the wave was over I said, "No, it’s not really that fun."We almost had Jeff do the actual blessing because Scott had given me two in the last week, but the Spirit told me Scott needed to be the mouthpiece. Scott blessed me to be healed of any viruses or bacteria I may have. Then he blessed the baby to be born soon, that it would be a quick birth, that I would not experience or feel any pain, that I would give birth to a healthy baby =), that I would make the transition to caring for a baby with energy and zeal. He also said Heavenly Father is pleased with my conduct during this pregnancy, that I have been patient and will be blessed for it. He said I have learned what I needed to through this experience. He also said I would know the positions to use that would be effective.I called Pam around 10 p.m. because I wanted to update her. I had to leave a message. I told her Scott had given me a beautiful blessing and that he said the birth would be quick. We went to bed since I didn’t feel any more strong waves. I was so happy and grateful for the blessing. It really calmed down my fears and I was happy to know the Lord was pleased with how I had handled the pregnancy and exercised patience. (On Aug. 29th when I had first started to be afraid and wondering when the baby was coming I had asked Scott for a blessing. In that blessing he said that the baby would come at the right time and in the right manner and to exercise patience and trust in the Lord’s timing.)We both just knew that things would start happening as soon as we all went to bed. Before we climbed into bed, however, Scott and I refilled the birth pool. We didn’t get it quite hot enough so towards the end we were adding straight hot water. It was taking forever, it seemed, and we were so tired. We both lay down in bed to wait for it to finish. My last thoughts before drifting off to sleep were, "Dear Heavenly Father, please wake up one of us before the water level gets too high." What faith! (Or foolishness!?!?) I’m not sure what time it was, but I awoke suddenly with sweat dripping off my chest and said, "THE WATER!" Scott woke up and jumped out of bed and turned the water off. It was within 4 inches of the top. The air was hot and humid. We covered the pool with a shower curtain to keep it warm and went back to sleep. WHEW!At exactly 12 midnight I awoke to a pretty strong pressure wave. I started watching the clock and realized they were coming about every 5 minutes. Hooray! That lasted about 45 minutes and then the waves started to come less often and not as strong. What??!? However, they kept coming irregularly. I can’t remember which script I listened to but I think it was either Birthing Day Affirmations or Easy First Stage. I breathed deeply through the waves and used my peace cue during the strong ones. They were very manageable. Scott woke up around 1 a.m. and I told him it had started. He dozed off and on while I listened to Hypnobabies.At 2 a.m. I decided to try the pool. The water was down to 98 degrees but still felt good and warm. I tried various positions but nothing really felt that comfortable. The waves weren’t difficult or anything. It just didn’t feel "right" for some reason. In fact the waves seemed weaker and further apart. They still kept coming though, so that was a welcome change from the past few days. I had Scott take pictures of me in the pool for a slide show, but . . . um. . . I doubt I’ll use them! I listened to Hypnobabies scripts on the speakers I had set up by the pool and also some of Enya’s music. Finally I began to wonder when to call Pam. At 3 a.m. I had the thought, "Call Pam." I was thinking that I’d probably be giving birth in the next hour or two. I hated to wake her up but felt I should call anyway. I had to try her home, her cell, and husband’s cell before her husband answered. They were both awake already. Pam said she had been laying in bed wondering how I was doing. Pam said she’d come right out. I got out of the pool when the water got down to 95 degrees. It was around 3:30 a.m. I doubted I would get in the water again. It was just impossible to keep it warm enough for long enough. Besides, it just didn’t feel like a water birth or even a water labor was right this time. I did listen to Caribbean Blue while I was in. I had always wanted to do that!Pam arrived around 4 a.m. and checked me. I was dilated to a 3–argh! Why was this happening so slow? The baby was at zero station. Well, at least it was some progress, but I was really surprised things weren’t progressing faster. I kept resting off and on trying to get some sleep in between waves. Pam checked me again a little after 7 a.m. and I was dilated to 6 cm. The boys gradually woke up and Scott got them ready for school. I was in the bathroom when Joshy came in to say good-bye. I told him the baby would probably come out while he was at school. He looked a little disappointed so I gave him a big hug and a kiss. I felt very motherly and emotional. I continued to rest in my bedroom and Pam rested on the couch. Charles watched TV and played downstairs after Scott fed and dressed him.Around 9 a.m. while I was laying on my bed Pam massaged the pressure points in my feet and hands to get waves coming stronger and more frequent. It didn’t do that, but it did feel like a fantastic massage. Pam does have magic hands. I remember thinking "I love being cared for like this. I would never be treated this well in the hospital!" In fact, I knew that had I been in the hospital I would have been started on Pitocin since it had been so long since my waters had broken and since my waves were so mild and erratic.At one point both Pam and Scott were watching me and it bugged me, so I said, "I feel like a watched pot." Pam said, "We’re waiting for you to boil." Yeah, I thought, so stop watching! I didn’t say it though and I think they eventually stopped watching me after a while. For the rest of the morning pressure waves came sporadically–sometimes strong, sometimes weak, but rarely, if ever, did I have 2 strong waves in a row. I kept restarting Hypnobabies scripts as they seemed to end all too often. It was actually a very slow, boring labor. Pam was great–patient and loving. She would rub my back or legs gently during waves. I remember one came while I was in the dining area and I leaned my forehead on the back of the chair while standing up. She rubbed my back the whole time. It felt so good that I didn’t want to straighten up when it was over! A little after 10 a.m. Pam did another check and I was to 8 cm but with an anterior cervical lip.Melody (the assistant midwife) arrived around 10:30 a.m. and as she and Pam talked softly in my room (I was on the bed) it irritated me and I remember thinking, "Just shut up." I was really in primitive mode! I put my headphones on to drown out the distractions. After a couple of scripts I got tired of wearing the headphones. Another check around 11 a.m. revealed that nothing had changed. Scott drained and deflated the pool and we set up a birthing area on the floor at the foot of the bed. I was kind of in my own world while he was doing that and when I came into the family room and saw the deflated pool on the couch I felt kind of sad and a little unsure. What if I wanted or needed the water later on? But then I remembered all my instincts throughout the pregnancy and especially during the labor that told me not to give birth in the pool. Then I could let go of the uncertainty and feel okay about it.Joshy came home from school around noon and I said, "The baby’s still in me." Scott made him chicken noodle soup. He ate the noodles and chicken and I drank the broth. I didn’t feel like eating anything else. For the next couple of hours the boys played downstairs, pressure waves came irregularly, some strong, but some seemed to just peter out. I tried all sorts of positions: sitting on the birth ball, spiraling or bouncing gently, standing and walking around a bit. I always felt a slight sense of panic if one came while standing. I just breathed deeply through them and told my cervix to open, that it was melting like butter or opening like a soft pink flower. However, the position that seemed to bring on more waves and stronger waves was lying on my left side. Weird, huh? Totally opposite of what I expected. I kept replaying the scripts, either on the iPod or on my computer by my bed.I think we were all a little frustrated that labor hadn’t gotten intense yet, but nobody showed frustration. Scott, Melody, and Pam were all very patient and loving. Sometime in the early afternoon I decided I wanted to labor alone in my room. Maybe that was what I needed to really get things going. I shut the door so no one could bother or irritate me. One thing I really enjoyed was listening to Enya’s Caribbean Blue while standing up and spiraling my hips through pressure waves. I was tired of Hypnobabies and that song was just right for my mood. After a while Scott came in. He held me through a wave and that felt so good to hold onto him. I felt like laying down and Scott lay down too. He did some NS and that brought on a couple of waves, but that was all. Then I didn’t like that anymore and so he rubbed my back and that felt sooo good. I also tried sitting on the birth stool to see if that would bring on some waves. When a wave would come while I was on the stool, I’d get all panicky that I was going to empty my bladder and my bowels during the pressure wave so I’d jump up to use the toilet. I have to admit I really was afraid of losing control of everything when the baby would descend and I’d feel all that pressure. I also couldn’t sit on the birth stool for very long because the longer I sat there the more it felt like everything was falling out. After a while Scott left to check on the boys and Pam and Melody came in to see how I was doing. They thought I had been sleeping all this time. When I said that I’d had a few good strong waves, Melody said, "Only 3 in 2 hours?" I had no idea that much time had elapsed. It felt more like 30 minutes.Finally, at 2 :30 p.m. things suddenly changed. I was lying down on my left side (of course) in the middle of the bed with a blanket mostly covering me and the waves began coming stronger and closer together. Some were very long. I was moaning and breathing through them. I think Pam heard me because she came in and rubbed my back and timed the waves. One was 2 minutes long! She did another vaginal check. I really didn’t want her to because the waves were so close together that I knew a wave would come during the check. This time, however, she said the cervical lip was gone. Hooray! For some reason I never thought to use my Hypnobabies finger drop technique and try to go loose and limp. (I really should have practiced that technique more consistently during the pregnancy.) I actually was laying there very still except for my low moans during the peak of each wave. I knew I must be finishing dilation. I had been a stretchy 8 for over 4 hours. It began to get really difficult to deal with the waves coming so close and strong. I started shaking uncontrollably as well. I kept saying, "I don’t want to do this anymore!" I knew it meant I was in transition but I just couldn’t stop complaining about it anyway. A part of me also wanted everyone to know I was in transition so they could get ready. I’m not sure how long that lasted, but suddenly I just couldn’t stand laying there anymore and I said rather emotionally, "I don’t want to lay here anymore!" Pam helped me get up and get situated on the birth stool.I think it was about this time that Pam checked me and said I was fully dilated. Since I had stopped leaking amniotic fluid about 24 hours ago so we thought that the sac had resealed. Pam and Melody thought that breaking it would be just the thing to speed things up. It took me a while to consent to that but I finally did and they both tried with no success. (After the birth they realized it had not resealed because there was no water left! Thank goodness they used a rubber thing that went over the finger to try to break the sac with. It wasn’t sharp, just a little rough designed to scratch the amniotic sac to weaken it so that it would break with the next contraction. I’m not sure what they were scratching other than the baby’s head except that her head had no scratches on it.)At this point, my two little boys who had pretty much left me alone most of the day suddenly got interested in playing in our bedroom. Charles had been staying away because when he would see me without clothes he clearly felt uncomfortable. The first time he saw me like this, he said, "Mom, you need clothes." But suddenly he didn’t care anymore! They hadn’t bothered me being around during the labor, but suddenly I needed them gone. (so did Pam and Melody) so I told Scott to take them to our next door neighbor who had agreed to watch them if I had the baby during the middle of the day. I honestly didn’t think that would happen! Everything about this labor had been slow so I didn’t think I would give birth before Scott returned. I was right.The midwives had set up our glider chair directly behind the birthing stool so Scott could sit behind me and could support me and rub my back. They suggested I lean back against Scott during waves. I’m not sure exactly why–I think to help the baby’s head move past the pelvis. The waves were still pretty intense at this point. All I had the presence of mind to do was vocalize through them. I tried to keep the tones low. They had to remind me a few times. And then the pushing began. It was agonizingly slow. Everything about it was difficult. I was perplexed by that. Taking a deep enough breath to push was difficult. I had to be coached each step of the way. Slowly, ever so slowly she inched down. I was working so hard! I have never pushed so hard and so long except for my first baby. In actuality I pushed for 11 minutes but it felt like an eternity. I was pretty vocal as I pushed, groaning real low in my throat. So low, in fact, that my throat got dry and scratchy. I couldn’t believe it was so hard to get this baby out. Being my 7th baby, I thought the baby would just kind of shoot out, like my 5th baby had done. Not so!I don’t remember Scott using the relax cue but the video footage shows that he put his hand on my shoulder several times. Maybe he just didn’t say "relax" when he did it so I didn’t even notice that he was doing it. I didn’t think about using hypnosis or my scripts or the peace cue. Somehow it was all too intense for that and I knew I just had to get the baby down and out. It did feel good when Melody would push back on my knees during each push I made. They had to keep reminding me to lean back. Leaning back against Scott was kind of uncomfortable but it did feel reassuring to have his presence and support right there–it really felt more like a team effort that way. I felt her every inch of the way and it was so intense, so completely filling–like how could my body stretch another millimeter?I told Pam I wanted to feel the baby’s head while she was still inside me, so in between pressure waves she told me to reach in and feel it. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’ve never been very comfortable with that sort of thing. I didn’t have long to wrestle with the decision before another wave came. Pam said "she’s almost there," so this time I reached down and touched her head–she was right inside the opening. I couldn’t believe it was her head because I could feel the sensation of touch both from my fingers and from her head. It made me think I was touching my own body, but they assured me it was her head. Weird, but cool! Then it was time to push again–I was really groaning in agony–it was so intense and so slow. I kept thinking, "Isn’t her head out yet?" because each centimeter she moved stretched me beyond belief. I said, "I don’t remember it being this hard to push!" Pam said, "We usually do forget that." But I knew for me it usually wasn’t that hard to push! (Except for my first baby.) I had my eyes closed when I would push and I remember thinking over and over, "I’m so glad I don’t have to do this again! So glad it’s the last time!" Finally her head eased out slowly (and I mean slowly!) I felt the ring of fire for what seemed like an eternity. Finally her head was out and I heard Melody say, "check for the cord." Then I heard, "no cord." Then, "check again." (The baby wasn’t coming down anymore.) This time Pam found the cord around her neck and it was tight. Melody said, "You can either push enough for us to clamp it or you can get a baby. Let’s get this baby out." Fortunately the cord was just barely loose enough for her to ease it over her head as I pushed. Again it was agonizingly slow–I felt first the top shoulder come out, then the bottom shoulder and finally her whole body slowly slid out. What incredible relief! Melody immediately put her on my legs with her face down so any fluid could drain. Her little body was so hot and wonderful! She was very purple but so hot and alive I could feel her energy and her life. I had no fear that she wasn’t okay. We rubbed her back to stimulate breathing, still not knowing if the baby was a girl or boy. I was patient–I wanted the baby to be okay. She pooped a little as she came out which I noticed on my hand (I had it on her little bum.) Then I felt her pee. It was all very reassuring! Finally after about 30 seconds (it seemed more like minutes) they turned her over on her back and Scott and I both said joyfully, "IT’S A GIRL!!!!" My next thought was "Why did I ever doubt????"Melody used the neonatal mask to help get her breathing. Then Pam used the suction tube on her nose, then throat. The tube in her throat caused her to take a little breath and then she let out a little wail–so beautiful! Her body, then her head pinked up quickly. Her feet and hands took longer. She was so beautiful and perfect. We finally got our little girl!The cord was so short we couldn’t lift her any higher than my lap. That was okay–I was able to touch her and watch her on my lap. Scott got out of the chair and held the camera and came around in front to film. (It had been on a tripod behind us.) They asked if we had a name for her and so we told them it was Talita and how we came to know that was her name.Tanner came home from school about 15 minutes after she was born. That worked out perfect. He had wanted to be there for the birth but I wanted the privacy to birth without clothes getting in the way--either of the actual birthing or of putting my baby immediately on my chest–skin to lovely skin. (Tanner is very modest!) I’m also glad he didn’t have to hear my groaning! I asked Scott for a blanket to cover me up some just in time for Tanner to come in. He was excited to be there so close to the birth and maybe a little disappointed he had missed it.The cord had stopped pulsing by this time. I reached down and felt it between my legs. I was surprised at how cold it felt. Pam and Melody clamped it with a new plastic ring type clamp and had a little difficulty getting it on just right. (But the extra effort was worth it–I loved having a tiny little soft plastic clamp instead of the big bulky hard plastic things my other babies had.) We asked Tanner if he wanted to cut it but he declined. I had asked him a few days before the birth if he wanted to do that but he said he didn’t want to "cut flesh." So Scott cut the cord and he and Tanner took Talita out to the family room so I could birth the placenta. I had to get off the birth stool because it felt like everything wanted to fall out. I sat on the edge of the bed for about 10 minutes and talked with Pam and Melody. Suddenly I thought "What am I doing?" I said, "I want my baby back!" They said, "You’re not done. You need to get that placenta out." (In hindsight I wondered why didn’t I nurse my baby to help contract the uterus and dispel the placenta. This is the only thing I regret–that I didn’t spend my baby’s entire first hour holding and bonding with her. But her dad and brother were bonding with her so I guess it was okay.) So anyway, I got back on the birth stool (this time it was next to the bed so I could lean my back against the bed.) It took about 15 minutes to get it out. I couldn’t really feel contractions or if the placenta had detached or not. But I started pushing gently. Oh that pushing sensation! How I never wanted to feel that again and I said so. The midwives said something about the placenta being easy to push because it was soft but it was the sensation of pushing itself I didn’t like. I felt very ineffective with my pushes and couldn’t help wondering if I was forcing my body to expel it before it was ready. But it came out just fine and looked whole and complete. It was about 1 hour after the birth. It was fascinating to watch as Pam and Melody examined it. It was big and healthy and Pam said I had done a great job nourishing my baby. =) Pam wrapped it up in the chux pad it had landed on and put it in a plastic bag and in the freezer until we were ready to plant it with a tree or something.Then Pam examined my perineum and said I had a tear about a half inch long. Bummer! I had never torn before–just skid marks. So Melody got the lidocaine ready and then said, "This isn’t a tear, just a blood blister." Hooray! No tears, not even skid marks! She had come out so slowly I had time to stretch sufficiently. (But, oh how that stretching burned!) Then I got my baby back and lay down to nurse. Yay! She nursed for about 15 minutes. Then it was time for the newborn exam. Scott weighed her in Pam’s soft cloth scale–the same one we used for Joshua. She weighed 7 lbs 1 oz. I told everyone how I had told the baby during the pregnancy that she could be born as soon as she was at least 7 lbs. Melody said, "Wow, she’s obedient too!" She was 19.25 inches long and her head was 12.75 inches. Except for Tyler who came early, she is my smallest baby–but not by much.I felt such incredible joy and satisfaction. Heavenly Father was so good to me. He answered my fondest dream–to finish my childbearing privilege with a joyful, healthy pregnancy and a beautiful baby girl!Reflections about the pregnancy, labor and birth:Every second I spent listening to and practicing Hypnobabies was so worth it. Although the pregnancy had minor challenges (fatigue because of my age -43, nausea, etc.) it was so joyful. As long as I took my daily walk listening to the Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations, and listened to the scripts daily, I stayed so positive and happy. I was also able to get the rest I needed since I always fell asleep during the scripts, haha. They still worked for me even though I slept through most of them. The Eliminate Nausea cd also helped control the nausea so it wasn’t so bad. I also loved how I felt emotionally and spiritually during the pregnancy. My baby’s strong wonderful spirit was responsible for that. How I loved the inseparable connection we had!Talita’s labor and birth was so different than what I had visualized, expected, or experienced before. And yet, I feel in my heart that the Lord was totally guiding me, warning me through my concerns, and yes, fears, and that he guided the whole birth process to allow Talita to be born safely, miraculously, joyfully at home. The labor needed to be slow and gentle because of the short cord and because it was around her neck. If it had been quick like some of my other births, it would have put her in distress. Her descent through the birth canal needed to be slow to allow her cord to adjust after each push. My body did not take over and push her out quickly like it did with Joshua because her cord wouldn’t allow it. Oh, how amazing the human body is! Especially the female body and the whole birth process! How wonderfully made we are! It fills me with gratitude and awe for Heavenly Father and His wisdom.Even though Talita’s birth was not meant to be unassisted, those stories taught me to trust in the birth process. Even when things are not ideal, the body knows how to compensate in order for a healthy baby to be born safely. I have no doubt that had I been under an OB's care or a CNM and been in a hospital, Talita would have been cut out of my womb. The doctors would not have let me go more than 12 to 24 hours after my water had broken without wanting to use pitocin. They also would not have been comfortable or patient with contractions that were sometimes spaced 30 minutes to an hour apart. The stronger contractions caused by the Pitocin would have put her in distress because of her cord (just like Tyler's birth). The separation, trauma, and the expense of a c-section, along with the days in the hospital away from the boys and the extra recovery time would have been awful and all so unnecessary. Thank heavens I have learned what I have and was able to avoid all that! Thanks be to Heavenly Father for guiding me in learning how to bring these three incredible spirits healthily and joyfully into the world. I feel sad (and mad) that the medical profession has totally convinced most women to not trust themselves, their bodies, or the birth process. Because of that many women have suffered unnecessarily both physically and emotionally, not to even mention the financial burden all the unnecessary intervention brings.Anyway, because of the slow, difficult pushing stage I needed someone to coach me. I needed someone calm and collected and experienced to guide the cord over her head so her body could be born. The effort of pushing her out took all my focus and energy. I can't imagine catching her myself (like I dreamed of) or having Scott have the calmness and experience to have done what the midwives did. I'm sure in an emergency situation the spirit would have guided him, but I'm so glad he didn't have to endure that stress. Pam and Melody worked so well together. Their strengths were very different and they complemented each other perfectly. Pam was very loving and calm and relaxed and Melody took charge when needed. Her leadership comforted me and helped me feel secure that all would work out. I totally trusted her. Pam was so inspired in choosing her to be the assistant. Melody told Pam later that she was so glad she was able to participate in our little miracle. She felt very honored. Pam also told me that the Lord's spirit was definitely here. He was definitely making sure his little Talita would make it safely into the world. =) How blessed I am to be entrusted with her!I think it's amazing how the Lord let me know early on that it would not be a water birth. In fact when I inflated the pool a few weeks before the due date I had the distinct thought that I was pretty much wasting my time. I had loved my previous two water births. I couldn’t understand it but I accepted it deep down. Now in hindsight, I understand why she was not to be born in the pool. Because the sides of the pool were so tall and dark, it would have been difficult to check the cord and maneuver it. Access would have been restricted, but more importantly I would not have been able to lift Talita high enough to get her out of the water because of the short cord. I would have had to stand up and get out of the pool while holding her. After the exhausting pushing stage I was so weak and it would have taken too long to get out of the pool and then resuscitate the baby. It is so awesome that Heavenly Father knows the future and knows how to guide us so that things work out for the best. I'm so grateful for His guidance and inspiration.The only thing I can't figure out is the blessing Scott gave me that said the birth would be quick and painless. I'm praying for understanding on that one. I don't feel bad about it, just a little perplexed. The blessing did help me be more calm about everything. Also, what about my dreams of giving birth easily and quickly without help? Were they just manifestations of my innermost desires for how to give birth? Or did I do something during the pregnancy that changed what could have been to what actually happened? I'm not sure I want to know the answer. Nevertheless, I am filled with gratitude that Heavenly Father sent me a beautiful little girl. That was my deepest desire of all, and Heavenly Father answered it so generously!A few days after the birth Pam said she read the literature on short tight cords and my labor and birth fit it completely! She said the best position to use is lying on the left side. It's effective but keeps it slow so as not to stress the baby too much. Exactly what I had done instinctively! I am totally amazed at nature’s wisdom and how if we just trust our bodies, they know what to do for our babies to be born safely and naturally. I am so grateful for everything I’ve read about natural childbirth and for the Hypnobabies scripts that told me every day of my pregnancy that my body knew how to birth my baby!

How We Came to Name Them Joshua, Charles, and Talita

The three children born to us since the passing of our son, Tyler, all have names that point toward the Savior Jesus Christ. We feel their names were inspired by Him to remind us of His great atonement and resurrection and the faith needed to believe in those realities and the great Plan of Happiness–that plan being that we will be able to live forever as a family, that Tyler is not lost to us, but rather has just moved on ahead of us for a while.

About a couple months after Tyler passed away, Scott had a dream where we were both laying in bed asleep. He awoke to see a little girl, with curly blond hair standing by our bedside. She looked over me to Scott and said excitedly, "I can’t wait!" Then the dream ended. A few weeks later we were at my mom’s house and Scott was listening to a cd by Daniel Rona about places in the Holy Land and the events that occurred there. He spoke about the daughter of Jairus being raised from the dead by the Savior as it is written in the book of Mark, chapter 5. He explained that when the Savior said to the young girl, "Talitha, cumi." he was not just saying, "Maiden, arise." The word Talitha in Hebrew means female lamb. It was often used as a nickname for little girls with curly hair. Daniel Rona believes that the daughter of Jairus was no stranger to the Savior since he spent over a year living in the area where she lived. He believes, rather that the Savior called her Talitha as an endearing nickname to someone he knew well. As Scott was listening to this story, his eyes filled with tears and he knew the name of the little girl  with curly blond hair who was to come to our family.
About 5 or 6 months later we learned we were pregnant. We thought this was our little girl, but an ultrasound revealed it was a boy. Scott said, "We have to do this again!" However, I had a boy name already picked out. It came to me when I was watching a BYU devotional by Elder David B. Haight. He quoted the scripture that says, "Choose ye this day whom ye will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15) The mention of Joshua immediately reminded me of an article in the Ensign I had read the month before. The article had been very timely and felt like it was written just for me. The article had been very timely and felt like it was written just for me. At the time we were dealing with allegations brought by the DCFS in regards to Tyler’s death and struggling with all the fear and emotional challenges that brought.

The Ensign article was called "The Twelve Spies" and was about Joshua and Caleb and how they were faithful in doing what the Lord asked despite overwhelming odds against them. The article begins with these words: "

Among all the philosophies one could choose to follow in life, the choice between two basic but opposing approaches——faith versus fear——influences our lives more markedly than any other."

 At that time in my life I was having to choose every day which emotion I would live by:  faith or fear. I was so impressed with Joshua’s faith and knew Heavenly Father wanted me to exercise faith like he had. I knew if the Lord blessed us with another boy I would name him Joshua.

Through some miraculous tender mercies we were blessed to find the absolute right people to help us deal with the DCFS and the charges were dropped 9 months after Tyler’s death.  Amazingly enough I conceived the night after the whole DCFS nightmare ended.  It was as if Heavenly Father was just waiting for the stress of that period to end before sending us the next precious spirit to enter our family.


I had a wonderful pregnancy, healthy and joyous.  I also went on an amazing journey of discovering natural childbirth and homebirth.  I felt like the Lord was guiding me every step of the way.  Joshua’s birth was absolutely the best of all my children’s births.  The memory of his birth carried me through moments of postpartum sadness and breastfeeding difficulties.  I was then, and still am, filled with gratitude to the Lord for helping me have such an empowering, sacred birth experience.  Now, at the age of eight, Joshua has taught me much about faith and unconditional love as he has struggled with some Aspergers tendencies.  He is sweet, innocent, and loving, and I have no doubt that he was sent here for me to learn much from.

Nineteen months after Joshua was born we learned we were expecting again. We thought, surely this is our little girl, then we can be done having kids! An ultrasound at twenty weeks revealed another boy. Okay, I thought, were we wrong? Was the dream just a wish? I knew I should be grateful for any baby–boy or girl, but I couldn’t help grieving for the little girl I had thought we would never have. After all I was 40 years old at the time and six kids was a lot! The Lord blessed me, however, to know we weren’t done having kids. A couple weeks after the ultrasound I dozed off while reading my scriptures. As I started waking up I realized I had been dreaming. In the dream I was arguing with someone. The person was saying, "seven kids." And I was saying, "No, six." They kept saying, "No, seven." I wondered who I had been talking to. I picked up in the scriptures where I had fallen asleep and read, "Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. . ." (Jacob 4:10) I felt in my heart that it was not a coincidence. I had to take a walk to think it through and to talk to Heavenly Father about it. By the time I came home, I felt like I really could do it again--if the Lord would help me to be healthy and in shape so the pregnancy would not be too difficult and that it could even be joyful like Joshua’s had been.

Still, I struggled with this pregnancy. I was overweight and uncomfortable. In my less faithful moments I struggled with feelings of doubt that I would ever have the promised little girl. I didn’t feel like I knew the baby I was carrying. I had no boy name picked out, neither did Scott. One morning as Scott sat at the kitchen table reading his scriptures he was thinking about the baby inside me and asked out of the blue, "Baby, what is your name?" Immediately he heard in his mind "Charles." He said, "Are you sure?!?!" He knew that it was the name the baby wanted. He told me about the experience but didn’t tell me the name. He wanted me to receive the name by inspiration as well because he knew I wouldn’t like the name and would have to know it was divinely inspired to accept it. All he told me was that "it was a good English name." It was actually my sister-in-law who guessed the name first. Scott was right–I didn’t like it at first, but as I thought about it, the name just seem to stick to him. It wasn’t until we were watching a performance of the Messiah three weeks before his birth that I knew for sure his name was Charles and that it was okay. The director of the performance was a counselor in our Stake Presidency and had the middle name of Charles.  I felt something stirring in my heart as I thought of his love for inspired music and his love for the Savior.  In those brief, spirit-filled moments the name Charles came to symbolize the joyful praising, through beautifully inspired music, of our Savior, His birth and His resurrection. 

The day after his birth , (another incredible homebirth)  while talking to a really good friend about the birth and his name, she said, "You have to read about Charles Wesley." I was amazed she thought of him because I had noticed one Sunday during the pregnancy that my favorite Easter Hymn, "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" and my favorite Christmas Hymn "Hark the Herald Angels" were written by Charles Wesley. Was it a coincidence that this baby was conceived at Easter time and would be born at Christmas time? After talking to my friend I asked my daughter, Ali, to look up some information on Charles Wesley on the internet. I was struck with the knowledge that Charles Wesley was born on my birthday, March 29th, (which also happened to be 2 days after Easter that year) and that he died on December 18th. December 18 was Charles’ due date. Coincidence? Who knows. But I have to think that it all ties together somehow. To me it all points back to the Savior and His life and mission.

Even though I hadn’t felt like I knew Charles while I was carrying him, I fell absolutely head over heels in love with him when he was born. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.  Heavenly Father had sent us another incredible spirit.  He smiled easily and often.  In fact, his birth video shows pictures of him on Christmas day, when he was five days old, smiling joyfully from ear to ear.  Earlier that same day we were listening to a music cd our daughter had received as a gift.  The music was beautiful.  Charles' eyes grew wide and his wriggling little body suddenly became still.  He was enraptured.  Now at 6 years old, Charles takes great pride in his name and loves the fact that he is a “Christmas baby.”

The Lord generously blessed me with my desires to be healthy and get in shape for the next and (what I thought was the last) pregnancy. My goal was to get to 130 lbs before getting pregnant. Through the advice of a friend I found a whole new way of eating that made so much sense to me. (A 95% plant based diet) I went to the class she recommended, bought the guy's book and devoured it. It just rang true to me. I felt so good following the program and miraculously got down to 120 lbs and got to enjoy being at that weight for a few months. It was truly an answer to prayer, and I have no doubt the Lord was guiding me to know how to have a healthier pregnancy and baby. =)

On Dec. 31, 2007, two years after Charles was born, we learned we were expecting again. It had taken 6 months more than we thought it would to get pregnant. Never had Scott nor I wanted to get pregnant more than this time. I doubted at times it would really happen considering my age, but the Lord comforted and reassured me that it would. We kept it as our delightful little secret for a couple of weeks from our kids and a bit longer from everyone else. The pregnancy was joyful, even though tiring at times. I decided not to have an ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby. I felt like Heavenly Father wanted me to trust him. I tried to be faithful but doubted at times if I really was carrying the little girl we had dreamed of. In my more faithful moments the Lord was able to help me understand more of why she was to be named Talita. In a journal entry dated June 25th when I was 6 months pregnant I wrote to my future baby:

 "I believe you want to be named Talita to remind me and your dad and everyone you meet in mortality to have faith and hope in Christ, His atonement and resurrection. Joseph Brickey’s painting of the daughter of Jarius depicts it well. Though we all have moments of grief and sorrow, the Savior stands at the door. When we’re ready, the door is opened, the light comes pouring in and life is restored, joy and reunion take place, and our mortal moment of suffering is ended. Because of our Lord and Savior, we can have joy forever. This is what you want me to focus on–not the aching loss–but the hope of eternal life and the joyous reunion with loved ones, all made possible because of our beloved Savior. From now on, when I say or think your name I will focus on the Savior standing in a light-filled doorway, just waiting to bring life and joy to my life and our family’s life."

 On another day I wrote: "Talita means hope, it means joy, it means Jesus wants to answer our prayers, bring back that which was lost or taken away. He wants to dry our tears, fill us with joy, happiness, and peace. We just have to trust Him that those things will happen at the right time for us. The daughter of Jairus wasn't healed immediately when he asked. Jairus had to wait for the right moment--when he and his wife had suffered just enough, when the doubters and naysayers were gone and they could be alone with the Savior. We will have to wait for the millennium for Tyler's spirit to re-enter his body, to be reunited with him, to be able to embrace him and rejoice together. But it will be the right time then. It will be the right time."

Talita’s labor and birth unfolded much differently than I had expected but was nonetheless amazing and spiritual.  The day she chose to come earthside was September 11, 2008.  I don’t believe the day was coincidental either.  As I have reflected on it over the past three years I believe that she chose that day as another reminder to us to focus not on the sorrow and grief of death, but rather to focus on the One who claimed victory over death, to find peace, joy, and healing in His incredible gifts of life to us.

Although my labor with Talita was long—over 30 hours—it was exactly as it needed to be.  Her cord was extremely short and the labor and birth needed to be slow and gentle for a safe birth. She was born at home into the loving hands of my caring, experienced midwives.  My husband was behind me holding me and supporting me.  When my midwife turned her over on my lap both my husband and I exclaimed with joy “It’s a girl!”  Over the next few hours as we said her name, she would turn her head to the sound.  It was as if she knew and recognized her name.  Her hair was dark and more plentiful than any of my other babies.  I wondered if she really would have curly blond hair like in my husband’s dream.  It didn’t take long before her hair lightened, and as it got longer beautiful little curls began to take shape.  Now at the age of 3 her hair is honey blonde and has beautiful waves and gentle curls to it.  She is the only one of our seven kids to have curly hair and I am loving it. As fun as that is, however, it is her sweet, feminine, loving spirit that is an absolute joy to have in our home.  At the end of her birth video I put these words:

Talita,
God’s little lamb,
sent to remind us
that miracles happen.
Mark 5:35-43 (KJV)
Lovingly dedicated to her brother,
Tyler Boyd Hansen
August 20, 1992 – February 16, 2002



 My heart is filled with gratitude and love to my Father in Heaven and my Savior for Their tender, watchful care over me and my family.  Truly, we have been greatly blessed, and I look forward with great anticipation to the day when our family will be fully reunited. While it has been a sweet, tender mercy to feel my son’s presence at the births of his siblings and at many other sacred moments, my heart longs to see him and embrace him again.  Through our Savior’s sacrifice, I know that one glorious day all of us will get to embrace him and thank him for all he has done for us, not only during his short mortal life, but, with the help of our Savior, all that he has done for us since.

Talita Pearl’s Homebirth ("short" version)


This is what I posted to my Hypnobabies Yahoo group along with their comments at the end.
A Testament to the Wisdom of the Natural Birth Process
Talita Pearl was born September 11, 2008, at 3:29 p.m. 6 days after her "guess date." The labor and birth were not like anything I had visualized or expected, but were exactly what she needed to come into the world safely and healthily.On September 10, 5 days after my guess date, my water broke around 1 a.m. Since most of my other labors were 4-6 hours long, I was excited because I figured this baby would come before my little boys (ages 5 and 2) woke up. Just what I had visualized and wanted! I woke up DH and together we filled the birth pool, changed the bedding and lit some candles. I wasn’t having any real pressure waves so we both went back to bed. I listened to Birth Day Affirmations, Easy First Stage, Deepening, Hypnotic Childbirth 1 & 2. You get the picture–nothing was happening! No waves and no sleep. Of course, I kept gushing amniotic fluid and pieces of the mucous plug so I was going to the bathroom about every 20 minutes. I kept thinking maybe I should get up and really get labor going so the baby comes before everyone wakes up. However, I was tired and so I just lay there on my left side listening to my HB. Finally at 4:30 a.m. I came up with a plan: I would put on Deepening again and when it ended at 5 a.m. I would automatically wake up (this often happened during the pregnancy) and would get up and really get things going. That would give me 2 hours–that should be enough time before my boys woke up. (So funny in hindsight.)As soon as the script ended I awoke with a start. I felt like I needed to have a huge bm. That, combined with the adrenaline of my "plan" made me jump out of bed and practically run to the bathroom. As I sat down, waves of nausea came over me at the same time a really strong pressure wave started. I started moaning and grabbed the trash can and put it between my legs just in case I threw up. I was terribly hot and sweaty so I ripped off my shirt and threw it on the floor. Our bathroom door is within reach of the toilet so I grabbed onto the door knob and held onto it for dear life. I was thinking, "Maybe I slept through early labor and this is transition!" Suddenly I felt myself jerk upwards and "thought what just happened?" I finished business and got back in bed telling my DH to go get the throw-up bucket. I was breathing really fast and hard. My DH got the bucket then put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Relax." It worked immediately. (Yay HB!) My breathing immediately calmed down and I told him what had just happened. It wasn’t until then I realized that I had almost passed out on the john!I went back to sleep for a couple of hours and at 7 a.m. decided to call my midwife. She came out and checked me. The baby was too high for her to even reach my cervix. (?) At a plus 3 station. I thought it odd since I had carried the baby low all pregnancy and the baby had been engaged for nearly two weeks. She said not to worry, the sac can reseal itself and it could actually be days before I gave birth. She reminded me of the standard things to be careful of when the water breaks and then she went back home.My DH stayed home from work because we both thought it could happen at anytime. All day long I only had mild crampy sensations. I lay down often to rest and catch up on sleep. I put on HB scripts whenever I would lay down and they helped me relax and get some sleep. I was surprised that it was all happening so slowly. But I was so grateful I wasn’t in the hospital strapped to a fetal monitor being starved "just in case" I needed anesthesia. (Birth story #4)That night we went to bed just knowing that it would happen once the boys were asleep and the house was quiet. At exactly 12 midnight I awoke to a strong pressure wave. I started watching the clock and realized they were coming about every 5 minutes. Hooray! That lasted about 45 minutes and then the waves started to come less often and not as strong. What??!? However, they kept coming irregularly. I got in the pool at 2 a.m. I listened to HB on my speakers I had set up by the pool and some of Enya’s music. I had always wanted to listen to Carribbean Blue in the middle of the night while laboring peacefully in my birth pool. However, being in the water just didn’t feel right so I got out after an hour. I called my midwife at 3 a.m. to let her know what was happening. I was worried about waking her up too soon, but she was already awake, just lying in bed wondering how I was doing! She arrived by 4 a.m. and checked me. I was only 3 cm. Argh! I kept resting off and on the rest of the morning. Pressure waves continued to be irregular and I would never have two strong waves in a row. I was very perplexed. I had never labored like this before. My DH and midwife were great. They never showed signs of impatience or frustration. I think we all just seemed to know that this was how this labor needed to be for some reason. They alternated rubbing my back and legs during waves and I continued listening to HB scripts. I was actually getting kind of tired of them since I had listened to every one of them at least 3 times! Once my midwife started rubbing the pressure points on my feet and hands to stimulate stronger waves. Even though that didn’t sustain anything, the massage felt great and I couldn’t help but think, "I would never be treated so well in the hospital!" In fact, I knew that had I been in the hospital I would have been started on Pitocin since it had been so long since my waters had broken and since my waves were so mild and erratic. The other odd thing was that laying on my left side seemed to be the best position to bring on pressure waves–more than walking around or sitting on my birth ball. Even in that position, the waves were very manageable and I just breathed deeply through them and used my peace cue.Finally, at 2 :30 p.m. things suddenly changed. I was lying down on my left side (of course) and the waves started coming close together and very long. My midwife heard me moaning and came in to time them. One was 2 minutes long! At this point all I could think to do was moan really low through each wave. I knew this was transition and I guess I wanted everyone else to know as well, because in between waves I was saying, "I don’t want to do this anymore!" I’m not sure how long that lasted, but suddenly I just couldn’t lay there anymore. My midwife helped me off the bed and I got situated on the birth stool. At this point, my two little boys who had pretty much left me alone most of the day just had to be in my bedroom with me. I think they were a distraction to all of us so I told my DH to take them next door to our neighbors who had agreed to watch them if I had the baby during the middle of the day. I honestly didn’t think that would happen! When DH got back, he sat behind me in the glider chair so he could support me and rub my back. I had a brief rest period where the waves didn’t come as often but they were still pretty intense. After another check my midwife said I was complete, and thus began the pushing stage. I have never pushed so hard and so long except for my first baby. In actuality I pushed for 11 minutes but it felt like an eternity. I was pretty vocal as I pushed, groaning real low in my throat. I couldn’t believe it was so hard to get this baby out. Being my 7th baby, I thought the baby would just kind of shoot out, like my 5th baby had done. Not so! I told my midwife I wanted to feel the baby’s head while still inside me and so when the baby was nearly at the opening I reached down and felt the head. I honestly felt like I was touching part of me–like I had the sensation in my finger and also the baby’s head. It was weird but cool. Then I had to push with all my might for a long period as her head slowly (and I mean slowly) eased out. I felt the ring of fire for what seemed like forever. (But I didn’t tear!) I kept thinking isn’t her head out yet? Finally it was out but the midwives found the cord was around her neck and it was a little tight. She said, "We’ll either have to cut the cord now or you can push right now and get this baby out." Fortunately the cord was just barely loose enough for her to ease it over the head as I pushed. Again it was agonizingly slow–I felt first the top shoulder come out, then the bottom shoulder and finally the baby was out. My midwife immediately put the baby on my legs face down so any fluid could drain. We discovered the cord was too short to bring the baby to my chest. The baby felt so good–so hot and alive! We rubbed the baby’s back to stimulate breathing, still not knowing if the baby was a girl or boy. I was patient–I wanted the baby to be okay. Finally after about 30 seconds (it seemed more like minutes) we turned the baby over and both my DH and I said together, "IT’S A GIRL!!!!" We were so excited. After 4 boys in a row and knowing this would be our last baby, we were ecstatic!The midwives suctioned her and actually used the neonatal mask to help get her breathing. She was a little blue but pinked up really fast. She is absolutely perfect and beautiful. Everyone felt her strength and energy as she took her first breath. We knew then that she is a strong and incredible spirit.A few days after the birth my midwife read the literature on short tight cords and discovered that my birthing time and actual birth were "textbook" for that situation. Slow, easy labors and a longer pushing stage allow the cord to adjust with each wave and each push. Also the best position to use is lying on your left side. Exactly what I had done instinctively! I am totally amazed at nature’s wisdom and how if we just trust our bodies, they know what to do for our babies to be born safely and naturally. I am totally convinced that had I been in a hospital I would have had a C-section. No doctor or nurse-midwife would have "allowed" me to labor so slowly and mildly for 38 hours after my water had broken. They would have used pitocin and that would have put the baby in distress and they would have done the CS. (Birth story#3) I am so grateful for everything I’ve read about natural childbirth and for the Hypnobabies scripts that told me every day of my pregnancy that my body knew how to birth my baby!
"That's a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing!
Congratulations!!! What a wonderful story and testament to birthing!
Thank you so much for sharing your inspirational story. I love that you and your midwife were able to stay calm and patient as you had the birth that was best for your baby. That is a great testimonial to the power of a mother's intuition and the beauty of birth. Your body and baby knew just what they needed! I would love to add your story to my positive birth story site and the Hypnobabies Blog. Please let me know if that is ok. Enjoy your sweet Talita!"
My response to Sheridan:I would love for you to add my story to the sites you mentioned. I'm still in awe whenever I think about her birth. Hypnobabies was so instrumental in helping me to trust in my baby, my body, and the birth process. =)Bonnie

Charles Home WaterBirth


December 19, 2005
It was one day after my "guess" date. I'd been having Braxton-Hicks contractions off and on for several weeks. I picked up Scott at work and we all went to Salt Lake to see the Christmas lights. We stopped at Wendy’s for dinner. When we came out it was softly raining. That made it kind of uncomfortable for Scott who was the only one without a hood. And he has the least amount of hair. I felt bad for him but he was in a good mood and didn’t let it bother him. I brought some chux pads just in case but I knew that by bringing them I wouldn’t go into labor! We went to the church museum first but Joshua was a little nightmare in there. We had to leave before we saw the exhibit we came to see. Scott got a little testy and then Ali and I did as well. Once we got to temple square we all did better. We walked around a bit and took a couple of pictures. We were all ready to leave before too long though. I had a few contractions but nothing that made me stop walking.When we got home we had scriptures and prayer and we all went to bed. I slept for about an hour I think. But I don’t think I ever reached deep sleep because I kept having contractions about every 20 to 30 minutes. They were different than Braxton-Hicks–more intense. I tried to lay there and deal with them like the Bradley method taught because I knew I needed my rest. It was difficult though. I felt somewhat out of control in that position. Finally about 1:30 a.m. I couldn’t lay there anymore. I got up and turned the Christmas tree lights on for company. That made me feel a little better. I sat on the exercise ball and the contractions were so much easier to work through. I decided to turn on my computer and play the labor playlist I had made. That helped as well. I sat in a comfy chair with a chux pad underneath me in case my water broke. I wanted to sleep in between contractions and so I would watch the screensaver hoping it would put me to sleep like it did a couple weeks ago when I was rocking Joshua at naptime. It didn’t put me to sleep, but when I would look at the beautiful pictures of nature I felt close to Heavenly Father and knew He was in control. Those feelings helped me not feel so scared. Because I was a little scared being up alone in the middle of the night in labor. Around 2:30 I went to the bathroom and it woke Scott up. He asked what I was doing up. I told him the contractions wouldn’t let me sleep. So he got up too and we had a peaceful night together softly talking while I calmly labored. When a contraction would come I would just stop talking, close my eyes, and relax my mouth and jaw. I told myself to open and relax my cervix. (Some great mantras I learned from Ina May's book.) Then after about a minute or so I would open my eyes and resume talking. Scott thought it was cool how I would go into my "trance" in mid-sentence and so he took a picture of me. It’s not very flattering but I’m grateful we have it because that part of my labor was so effective, and so peaceful, and gave me the fondest memories of the whole labor.The contractions started getting about 5 minutes apart around 4 a.m. so I decided to call Richelle at 4:30. I hated to wake her up but decided 5 minutes apart was getting close considering how long I had already been in labor. She answered the phone with a groggy, "Is Bonnie having a baby?" I told her I thought so and she said she would gather her stuff and come. Scott gave me a blessing after that. He had just started when the phone rang and Richelle was asking if we wanted her to bring her hose. I said yes and hung up. Then I asked Scott to finish the blessing. He started again and this time I felt the peace that everything would be okay. I stopped worrying after that. I was no longer afraid that I or the baby would have complications and have to go to the hospital. He said angels would attend me and guide me as to what I needed to do. The labor would be enjoyable and efficient. He said Heavenly Father wanted me to know of His love and concern for me at this time. I remember he called my labor a "labor of love" for our son, that I would have a quick recovery and that my body would function properly. He also said the baby would be happy and would be a sweet son who would bring joy to our family and home.Richelle took a while to get there. I think it was about 5:30 or maybe even 6. We were getting the tub ready. She checked my cervix and I remember thinking, "now don’t be disappointed if you’re only at a 2 or a 3." However, I was 6 centimeters dilated! I was ecstatic. My labor had really been efficient. My relaxation techniques and self-talk really were working. I called Melissa who was going to film the birth and told her I was already at 6. She said she’d come right out. An assistant midwife arrived next. Her name was Rachel. By this time I was in the tub and Richelle, Rachel, or Scott would push on my sacrum? during contractions. I was amazed how much that helped. I felt best in a hands and knees position during contractions. When Melissa arrived, she looked at Rachel sitting on the bed and said, "Shut up!" That was her way of saying hi to an old friend whom she didn’t expect to see. The mood changed to more of a reunion or party type atmosphere. At first I thought, "this is fun–kind of like a slumber party." It was still dark outside. But then, as Rachel and Melissa kept talking to each other, even during my contractions, I thought, "Wait–this is my labor and my birth." The sun came up and the kids woke up one at a time and as each came into the bedroom, I’d say, "Aren’t you glad we didn’t have to wake you up?" I was still in a good mood and didn’t realize the effect the whole changed atmosphere was having on my labor. Melissa was asking me questions while filming (with a huge camera) which I now realize in hindsight distracted me. Even though I thought it was all okay, it wasn’t conducive to laboring. Especially the way I need to labor–in peace and quiet and some sense of privacy. The contractions slowed down and became weaker. When Richelle checked me next I was only 7 centimeters even though it had been at least 2 hours since I was at 6.Another thing that may have affected my labor was that Richelle said the latest research indicated that a water temperature of 95 was better for birthing. So we let the water get cooler than I liked. I really feel best when it’s around 98-100. After a while Richelle realized I needed fewer people in the bedroom so Melissa and Rachel went out but I could still hear them talking in the family room. The girls got Joshua dressed and fed him breakfast. He was embarrassed to eat in front of all those strangers and so he covered his eyes with one hand while spooning Cheerios into his mouth with his other hand. They all tried not to laugh at him because it was so cute and funny. Ali came in and asked how much longer it would take. I told her, "don’t talk numbers. It stresses me out."Richelle gave me a tincture of blue cohosh to speed up my labor and left Scott and I alone in the bedroom. We weren’t able to close the door because the bed was in the way (we had to push it towards the door to make room for the tub.) Ali was playing on the piano while we were trying to listen to a cd with really pretty music that Richelle had brought. Even though both were pretty and relaxing, the combination of them wasn’t. I told Richelle it was really distracting so she asked me if she should go tell Ali to stop playing. I feel so bad now because Ali told me later that she was playing for me. I had thought maybe she was just playing to pass the time. When Richelle asked her to stop her eyes welled up with tears and she had to go downstairs to hide her emotions from everyone. I still feel really bad for Ali!Finally Scott and I were alone so we decided to do some NS in the tub to speed up the labor. I did have a few stronger contractions, but nothing got consistent. Finally after repeated trips to the bathroom I was tired of the tub. I got dry and put my robe on and went out into the family room. A second midwife had arrived and they were all sitting there in the family room. I sat on the exercise ball and Melissa asked if she could film me to which I said yes. But when she asked if she could ask me questions I said I’d rather not. I apologized to them that it was taking so long. Having my labor slow down had never happened before. They said I didn’t need to apologize. They all watched me which made me extremely uncomfortable, so I got up and said I probably just needed a nap and things would pick up again. I really wanted to shut the door so Rachel and Richelle worked really hard to move the bed so we could close the door. Finally we succeeded and I lay down and everyone went out of the bedroom. I just couldn’t sleep, however. After a few minutes I got up to go to the bathroom again. Scott came in and said that at Richelle’s suggestion they had all said a prayer for me to know what they should do to help me. After the prayer was over they all knew they needed to leave the house for a while. Richelle stayed of course. When Scott told me this I felt an immediate sense of relief. I hadn’t realized just how much a house full of people had affected me and my labor. Right after this while I was still sitting on the john, and while Scott was still in the bathroom, I heard a pop and then water dropped into the toilet. My water bag had broken! That pop was a cool sound. Scott thought it was pretty cool that it had broken while I was on the toilet. That was pretty convenient. No mess to clean up. That was funny because ever since I had gotten up the night before I carried a chux pad around with me in case my water broke. Richelle came into the bedroom then and Scott told her my water had broken. She immediately got on her cell phone and called everybody back. I heard her say, "We just had a spontaneous rupture of the membranes. Come right back."I got into the tub then and had a whopper of a contraction. It was so intense. I immediately got into a modified hands and knees position and rested my head on the side of the tub whenever a contraction came, and come they did! I only had 2 or 3 contractions like that when I felt the baby moving down. Scott was in the tub by this time and I was moaning like crazy during each contraction. I could hear rubber gloves hurriedly being snapped on and the room filled up with people. I didn’t really care though because all I could think about was getting this baby out. I just couldn’t stand the intensity of those contractions and the feeling of him moving through me. I wanted him out! During the last couple of contractions Richelle moaned with me trying to remind me to keep the tones low. That really helped me. I could hear her and I immediately tried to match her tones. When I could feel the baby was about to crown I said, "I need to squat!" Richelle said go ahead and told Scott to get behind me and hold me up slightly. Scott reached in and said, "There’s his head!" I gave a great push and very loud moan and pushed his head out. The sensations were so intense, so excruciating even, that I remember thinking, "I never want to do this again!" Richelle checked for the cord and his heart tones. She said not to take a lot of time because during the last contraction or two his heart tones had gone down to 90. I didn’t want to take any chances of the baby having any problems so even though I might have liked to rest for a second or two, I immediately pushed again and pushed his whole body out. Richelle caught him and I sat down. None of the midwives happened to look at the clock the minute he was born, but Tanner had! He proudly announced to them that he was born at 11:13 a.m. My water had broken at 10:40. Only a half an hour had transpired! I had gone from a tight 8 cm to full dilation and delivery in 30 minutes!I knew as I sat there I had torn. I hurt both at the top and bottom of the birth canal. (Later I found out they were just skid marks.) But I tried to forget about that and just look at my precious baby. He opened his eyes and I said wonderingly, "Who do you look like?" His eyes looked very different than the other kids had. I knew I had a very unique little baby in my arms. I checked to make sure he was a boy and of course he was! Scott was sitting slightly behind me admiring him as well. I kissed his head. He was so precious!Whitney and Tanner had been in the room and witnessed the birth but Ali and Joshua had been downstairs "dancing to the potty train" as Ali said later. (They were watching Joshua’s video of Bear in the Big Blue House called "Sometimes You Just Have to Go!") Whitney ran downstairs right after Charles was born and excitedly told Ali to come upstairs–that it had happened. I feel bad Ali missed the birth, but as Scott said later, it was better that Joshua didn’t see and hear me as I pushed the baby out. It would have freaked him out to hear me moan like I did. I didn’t notice Joshua was in the room with Ali until I suddenly heard him cry. I thought he had just come in and cried when he saw me in the tub holding a baby that wasn’t him! Scott told me he had been in the room for a few minutes just staring at us before he started crying. Someone, maybe Ali, took him out as soon as he started crying.Charles didn’t pink up very fast and he seemed to have swallowed some fluid. Richelle gently suctioned his lungs and he gagged a bit. Because of that we didn’t stay in the water too long. Richelle asked me how I felt about cutting the cord even though it was still pulsating weakly. I thought it more important to get Charles warm and pink than to wait until the cord stopped pulsating completely. So Scott cut it and more blood came out than had come out of Joshua’s cord. They wrapped him up in a warm towel and helped me out as well.In order to warm up Charles, they suggested I nurse him. Melissa asked if she could film it and I said okay, but it affected me again and contributed to me feeling flustered. Charles wasn’t interested in nursing and my breasts were so huge and soft that I’m sure I looked extremely uncoordinated. Finally I gave up and said I’d try again later. A little while later after Melissa and one of the midwives had left I lay down in bed with Charles snuggled next to me. Then we had no trouble nursing. He latched on beautifully–I was careful to wait for his mouth to open wide and to kind of roll the nipple onto his tongue. He nursed contentedly for a good 15 or 20 minutes. It didn’t hurt at all–hooray! I felt the motherly hormones flowing and I couldn’t resist smelling and kissing his sweet head. I noticed Richelle watching right then. I don’t know what she thought–relief that breastfeeding was now working and I was bonding. I’m sure she realized just how much better I do with a little privacy. Maybe she was looking forward to the day when she would have a baby. When Charles let go of the breast I put him on the other side and he nursed just as well.He warmed up after that and Richelle and Rachel did the newborn exam. He let out a few sudden yells, but when she put him on his stomach he calmed right down. He was 20 inches long and weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces. That was the same as one of the other kids, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember which one. Ali thought it was her but I wasn’t totally sure. I later looked at my records and realized it was Tanner who was 7-11. Tanner totally bonded with Charles. I am so glad he got to see his baby brother born.It was an interesting labor and birth, even though in hindsight I wished I had practiced my hypnobirthing techniques more. I think they were more effective than just using the Bradley Method techniques to relax. If there is a next time, I'm firmly decided I'm going to use the Hypnobabies home study course.It's funny how I felt like I never wanted to give birth again for those few excruciating moments of pushing, and yet within days, I was planning how to make the next birth better!I fell so absolutely in love with this little boy that I couldn't stop looking at him. He was so beautiful, and I was so grateful and ecstatic that I had had another successful, joyous homebirth!

Joshua's Home Waterbirth

On August 18, 2003, 1 day before my due date, I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and felt like getting up. (Unusual for me, especially since I had stayed up late the night before reading hypnobirthing stories on the internet trying to reassure myself I could do it.) I went for a walk by myself. I remember thinking "I would like to say I walked 2 miles the day the baby was born."Throughout the day I did a lot of little nesting things. One of them was to clean the refrigerator. My 16 year old daughter, Ali, walked in and said, "I don’t think Joshua will care if the fridge is dirty." (The whole family knew we were going to name the baby Joshua.) I said, "Of course he won’t, but I will. Be quiet, I’m nesting."In the afternoon I drove into town to my prenatal appointment with Pam, my midwife. I had 4 or 5 contractions just during the 45 minute drive to Pam’s house. I was so tired. She wrapped my belly with a Japanese style wrap. It felt really good.When we got home I was so tired I couldn’t even stand up to make some dinner. I felt so heavy! My husband, Scott, opened some cans of stew for the rest of the family and warmed up some soup for me. I didn’t feel like eating anything heavy.Around 9:15 p.m. I got ready for bed. My family was out in the family room watching a movie. In the middle of my prayers my mom called. I climbed into bed and talked to her for about 10 minutes. I told her I had been having irregular contractions all day. After I hung up, I put in the Fear Release tape to listen to. After only a few minutes I had a really long, strong contraction. I had to take 3 deep breaths to get through it. Just as it subsided I felt a warm gush of fluid. I jumped up, exclaiming, "Oh no!" I knew what it meant. Labor was truly starting. I was definitely not going to get any sleep! I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and thought of all the things I hadn’t gotten done yet. I called for Scott and told him how frantic I felt about the things that weren’t done and how mad I was at myself for ignoring the promptings of the night before to go to bed early and for being so careless this close to my due date. He was going to be born on his due date! I should have known! I was also a little concerned because the amniotic fluid wasn’t clear. It had a greenish brown tinge to it. Was it meconium? Was the baby in distress? Scott tried to calm me down and told me to stop berating myself. I think he was excited it was finally happening. He brought me the phone to call Pam and Laura (my doula). I sat there for almost a half an hour feeling very indecisive. It was all happening too quickly for my tired, pregnant brain.A friend came over and helped Scott give me a blessing. In it Scott said that everything would go well. That helped calm me down a lot. Pam arrived around 10:45 p.m. and did a cervical check. I was only dilated to 2 cm and my cervix was tilted back. It made it hard for her to check me. She said she thought she felt the cord. Panic filled me. I knew what it meant for the cord to present first–automatic c-section! I began praying fervently and then Pam said, "No, I just feel the head." What a relief!My daughter, Ali, and her best friend, Emily, were in the front room playing soothing songs on their violin and viola. It also helped to calm my nerves. Scott and Ali brought the swimming pool upstairs that I had bought just for the birth and set it up in our bedroom. Scott began filling it and the hose kept popping off the faucet spraying water everywhere in the bathroom. In hindsight it’s kind of funny, but at the time he was totally frustrated. Finally he figured out why–the hose was kinked. As soon as the tub was filled I climbed in. It felt wonderful. Laura, my doula, arrived about that time, around 12:30 a.m.As I labored in the pool, the contractions weren’t too bad. I was smiling in between them. Scott lay down on the bed for a few minutes. He was pretty tired. I was listening to a tape I had borrowed from Laura, called the Birth Guide. I didn’t realize how much it was helping me until it suddenly stopped. I began to feel panicky while Laura and my husband tried to get it working again. (Somehow, baby oil had gotten on it!)During the increasingly strong contractions I began to rest my forehead on the top edge of the pool in a hands and knees position. They had a hard time getting the baby’s heartbeat with the stethoscope because he was kind of sideways with his back to my side. Richelle, a midwife assistant, suggested doing a sideways lunge to get his head to turn because it was transverse. (?) I did that and slowly rocked back and forth. After doing that for a few contractions I rolled over and they got his heartbeat much easier so we figured he had turned into the right position. My cervix was only at a 6 or 7 and still had an anterior cervical lip.Around 2 a.m. the surges got even more intense and I remember saying "I can’t do this again!" When I felt another surge coming I would feel apprehension but I tried to remind myself I could do it. In fact think I muttered out loud a few times, "I can do this." It did seem to help. I was so exhausted as the surges came so strong and close together. I said, "I need a break. But my body won’t let me take a break!" So Pam got the oxygen and held the tube just under my nose for a while. It really did refresh me enough to keep going. When Diane, another midwife assistant, showed up I was too into myself to look up and say hello.When Pam would check me, she would try to get a hold of the cervical lip and hold it back so it could dilate further. She kept saying, "If I can keep a hold on it during a good, long contraction, we can get it out of the way for good. It kept slipping back. So when I had another contraction I was laying back with my head and shoulders on the edge of the tub and Pam was holding the edge of my cervix. It was a long, excruciatingly painful contraction and I couldn’t help moaning through it. I thought it would never end. Finally it was over and Pam said she felt it slip over the baby’s head. She sat back then and figured it would be soon now. I really wasn’t sure where I was at in the process. I was using all my concentration to breathe through each contraction without totally losing control. Pam asked if I felt the urge to push yet and I said, "I think on the next one." They suggested getting into a squatting position. Scott was now sitting down in the water facing me.With the next contraction my body totally took over and he began coming out. I let out a loud cry/moan because the whole physical sensation of him moving through me was so intense. He felt so big I thought I was going to literally split in two. I just couldn’t believe something so big was coming out through my body–it didn’t seem possible he could fit or that I could stretch enough. Finally I felt the head moving past the perineum. Pam said, "Don’t push! Pant!" Scott was saying "Breathe him down." Then he repeated, "Pant!" more loudly than Pam had. Then I responded and began to pant like a dog. :o) Pam was saying something like "Easy does it. Slow down." I panted more slowly and his head slowly eased out. I felt a burning sensation and began saying "It burns! It burns!" Finally the contraction was over. I was so relieved his head was out! I felt nothing for a while and so I took a much needed rest. I could hear Pam saying his head had turned the right way. That was good. After another minute I let out a loud cry again as I pushed his body out. Again it felt like my body was taking over to do what needed to be done. It was quite an odd sensation–as if my body were a separate entity. The physical sensation was so intense that I couldn’t help making that noise. It was so natural and instinctive. The relief as his body slipped out was incredible. He was born at 3:09 a.m. Scott grabbed him and immediately put him up on my chest.It felt absolutely wonderful to hold him. He was so beautiful! I heard Pam say, "He got water" meaning he got some in his mouth. Diane immediately began suctioning his lungs with this skinny little tube. He started to cough and sputter. I was rubbing his back and so were the midwives. I wasn’t worried. I knew he was getting oxygen through the cord. I talked to him, saying, "come on, you can do it, you can breathe, get that stuff up." I told Scott to talk to him and he said, "Hi Joshua. Try to breathe." He seemed to respond to Scott’s voice and let out a couple of wails. They held the oxygen under his nose and continued to suction at intervals.I was in heaven holding him, knowing it was over and I had a beautiful baby boy. He pinked up quickly. I don’t know how long I stayed in the water holding him. Nobody rushed me to get out. I had one contraction but the placenta didn’t come out. I was too engrossed with Joshua to concentrate on pushing it out. His fingers were so long and he had his hands open and seemed to be exploring everything with his hands. At one point, as I supported his head with my opposite hand, my arm was across his chest and he reached with both hands and held onto my arm. It was the neatest thing. Diane said with wonder, "Look at him use his hands!"After the birth, Emily, who had stayed for the whole thing had gone to wake up my 13 year old daughter, Whitney, who had been sleeping on the couch. She came in and sat on the bed. She didn’t say much. I think she was still half asleep. Diane said, "Well, you girls, all I can say is your mother made it look pretty easy."I shook my head, smiling, "It wasn’t easy!" Scott said the cord had stopped pulsating. I didn’t know how long it had been, but I was surprised it had stopped already. Richelle and Pam coached Scott on how to clamp and cut it. Then Scott took Joshua and they helped him wrap him in a big fluffy warm towel. They helped me out of the water so I could deliver the placenta on the bed. I was amazed at how heavy and exhausted I felt once I was out of the water.After I delivered the placenta, I put on my robe and lay back on the pillows that had been set up. Then they brought Joshua back to me and I put him to the breast. He nursed beautifully.When he was done nursing, it was time for Pam and Richelle to examine him. Scott held up the scale while Joshua was suspended in the soft cloth. He weighed 7-14 and was 21 inches long. My biggest baby! His head was 14 inches around. He was so beautiful and healthy-looking. What a miracle!When Scott and I finally climbed into bed with our precious bundle of joy it was around 5:30 a.m. It was a beautiful moment to lay in our own bed with our brand new little son laying between us. I scooped him into the crook of my arm because I wanted to hold him. Scott fell asleep rather quickly but I couldn’t sleep. I marveled that only a few hours ago he had been inside me. Now he was here in my arms breathing, healthy, and absolutely beautiful. It made me so happy I couldn’t fall asleep for over an hour. The only thing marring it were the afterpains. They were constant and incredibly strong. However I was still so happy and excited and grateful. I had my homebirth and everything went well and fast. Really only a 4 hour labor. Heavenly Father blessed me so much. What a journey He guided me on. And He never left me alone. He guided the people, the pregnancy, the labor and delivery. It was such a beautiful, incredible, intense, miraculous experience.At 6:30 a.m., my 6 year old son, Tanner, got up and started to run past our bedroom door but I called to him to come here. As he walked in I said, "Come meet your new little baby brother." He seemed a little surprised and amazed to see a little baby snuggled between Scott and I. When he went to bed the night before I had been pregnant and labor hadn’t really even started. Now he had a new little brother and all of us were safe and sound at home together. It was the best, most wonderful birth experience I could have ever hoped for!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Talita's Birth Slideshow

Talita's birthday

I've had an epiphany of sorts. It all came about because a fellow Hypnobabies mom recently posted her son's birth story. He was born on September 11, 2008, just like Talita, and she named him Tristan Phoenix. (Same initials as Talita Pearl) She commented that she didn't care which day he was born on as long as it wasn't September 11th. I remember having the same thoughts. 9/11 is just such a tragic day in the history of our nation. After reading Tristan's birth story I again pondered on why Talita chose that day to be born. A thought came to me then, and it is this, "These precious spirits want us to focus not on the tragedy of death, but rather on the miracle of life." And then I remembered this paragraph from my pregnancy journal written in June 2008:

"I believe you want to be named Talita to remind me and your dad and everyone you meet in mortality to have faith and hope in Christ, His atonement and resurrection. Joseph Brickey’s painting of the daughter of Jarius depicts it well. Though we all have moments of grief and sorrow, the Savior stands at the door. When we’re ready, the door is opened, the light comes pouring in and life is restored, joy and reunion take place, and our mortal moment of suffering is ended. Because of our Lord and Savior, we can have joy forever. This is what you want me to focus on–not the aching loss–but the hope of eternal life and the joyous reunion with loved ones, all made possible because of our beloved Savior. From now on, when I say or think your name I will focus on the Savior standing in a light-filled doorway, just waiting to bring life and joy to my life and our family’s life."

Then it all came full circle. Now it feels totally appropriate that Talita was born on September 11th.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Artificial Induction of labor

Here's a great intro to an important article on induction of labor:

"Thousands of women in this country with normal pregnancies and healthy babies are being put at risk every day in maternity units across the country. Yet like lambs to the slaughter they pack up their bags and head for the hospital in the belief that the doctors, who instigate the barbaric treatment they are about to undergo, are saving their babies' lives.

Many of them then spend the next few days in excruciating pain over and above that what is experienced in normal labour in an effort to drag their unready and unwilling bodies into labour. Their bodies are filled with drugs that may compromise their long-term health so they begin the spiralling cascade of interventions that all too often culminates with entry through the theatre doors.

The women and their families thank the doctors and hospital guidelines for saving them from the problems they had, problems that are often itrogenic in origin. And so the myth, that their bodies are failing them in the one thing women are best at, procuring a future generation, is perpetuated.

To add insult to injury my colleagues, midwives, who by definition of their title should be the protectors of women and babies, help daily to continue this unnecessary practice. Induction of labour for no medical reason has become a socially acceptable procedure."

Couldn't have said it better myself. Here's the link to the whole article: http://www.kentmidwiferypractice.co.uk/2006/induction.htm